The Birth of Jetsun Bodhi
(written in the days after birth)
Saturday 7th February 2009: (41+5 weeks)
Knowing that I was approaching the 2 week overdue mark, I suggested to Dan earlier that day that we should go out for dinner as it may be our last together alone for a long while, and I would eat a hot curry to see if it helped to start my labour. Then later I changed my mind as I knew it was forecast to be another very hot day the next day and I didn’t particularly want to labour in the heat (and I was looking forward to going to the Homebirth Access Sydney picnic which was on that day). So I decided we would go the next night as there was going to be a cool change for Monday, a much nicer temperature for birthing!
Dan and I went to bed at around 11pm and he gave me some perineal massage to see if it might get things going. Well, one thing led to another and I had an orgasm and then immediately started to feel some strong Braxton Hicks. I went to the toilet and saw that I was getting the bloody show. It didn’t take long to realise that these were more than just Braxton Hicks, they were the real deal!
I left Dan in the room to get some sleep in preparation and soon after he called out “Are you sure this is the real thing or a false start?” I replied that I am sure this is it and told him to try and get some sleep because it could be all night or a few days before the serious business of birthing begins. I should’ve told him it was a false start so he got a better sleep.
Sunday 8th February 2009: (41+6 weeks)
I busied myself for a few hours with preparations like making some Labourade (which I didn’t even like the taste of when I tried to drink it later) and put some music on my mp3 player which I thought I might like to listen to later on. Then I lay down on the couch to try and get some sleep in between contractions, listening to my Holosync meditation CD (with the sounds of chimes and heavy rain) and the Gyuto Buddhist monk CD (with the sounds of them chanting a healing ceremony). I used a TENS machine on my lower back which was absolutely gold for getting straight to the source of the pain during contractions, as well as a heat pack on my lower belly while I breathed slowly and calmly, as taught in my Calmbirth classes. At one point while lying on the couch, I felt a big shift in my belly which must have been bub getting into a better position. I was so relieved that despite baby facing posterior for the last 4 weeks, I didn’t get any of the signs of a posterior back labour!
Dan got up at about 5am and came out to the loungeroom, telling me he hadn’t slept a wink from being too excited, so I got up too and then things started to get more intense as I remained upright. I texted my midwife Jacqui (Wood) to give her an update, then gave her a call at 7am to make sure she was at the ready.
Throughout my labour I concentrated as best I could on keeping every muscle in my body as relaxed as possible while Dan assisted me with rubbing my back, giving me drinks and supporting me in different positions. At about 10am Dan called Jacqui again when I was at an intense bit and feeling emotional and teary, which I am guessing I was around 7cm.
Jacqui arrived at around 11am. I was over the intense bit and was a bit worried she would think I had been a drama queen for nothing, as the contractions had slowed down a bit when she arrived. She checked to see how dilated I was and found me to be 8cm. I felt so elated I had got so far already, as I was worried I’d be disappointed at lack of progress. She also gave me the good news that he had finally moved down lower into the pelvis, as he had been floating around and unengaged for about the last 6 weeks, which was a worrying sign that perhaps things wouldn’t happen, and medical intervention and hospital procedures might be needed if I went too far overdue or labour didn’t progress. I high-fived her and said excitedly “I’m having a homebirth!” She said she was so pleased for me as she’d started ha
ving her doubts that I would be able to, after the lack of progress in this late stage of pregnancy.
Dan started filling the birth pool and I got in. I was pleasantly surprised at how comfortable the pool was because it was inflatable and very soft, unlike the hard porcelain baths I had seen in the hospital birth centres when I attended other births as a doula. Hours passed and I felt that I was handling the pain quite well. In between contractions I was quite alert and chatted with Jacqui while Dan did an awesome job of supporting me with drinks and ice cold muslin
s on my face and back to keep me cool, (as it was a very hot day of about 36 degrees!), and pressing his thumb into a pressure point on my lower sacrum.
Then everything changed really quickly and I went into a really long and intense transition and all conversation with me stopped as each wave crashed over me with little break in between. This must have gone on for about an hour or so.
Despite getting teary, I never felt that I couldn’t handle the pain as I remained calm and used my breathing and low moaning sounds while I lay my head on the side of the pool. I asked Dan to get me some Bauhinia flower essence which I took to help me move into 2nd stage as I felt it was taking too long.
I then went into 2nd stage at around 3pm. I felt inside myself for his head but as the waters hadn’t broken yet, I could only feel the squishy bulging membranes, which gave me a slight urge to push as they were in front of his head. Then it gradually got more and more intense and he descended very, very slowly.
I tried every position in the pool and out, and as the hours passed I thought I couldn’t go on due to sheer exhaustion. We ended up going into the bedroom and tried some lunges and crouches. Jacqui did the pelvic squeeze without success as we thought he might be stuck at the shoulders, but she later felt inside and knew he wasn’t.
During one of the contractions my membranes ruptured and splashed all over poor Jacqui. As he moved further down, Jacqui realised that I had a very tight band of muscle in the right side of my birth canal which just wouldn’t give way around his head. I remember reading about this possible scenario in women who did sports in the book “Gentle Birth Method” by Gowri Motha. I used to do a lot of skateboarding and this is the same side of my body that I used to push the board with my foot, so I thought that explained the tight muscles on that side.
Jacqui had to encourage me to put all my effort into pushing him out as he was not coming down and this went on for a very long time. I begged for Jacqui to cut me so he would get out quicker as I was so exhausted, but as his heart rate remained strong throughout, she wouldn’t do it because there was no emergency reason to do so (which I’m glad of now or I would’ve been nursing stitches later and had a scar!). Thank God she had more faith in me than I had of myself. Instead she massaged it till it gave way and I could see the top of his wrinkly head in the mirror.
For a while I was so exhausted I lay on my back on the bed with Dan holding one of my legs up. Then when I gained enough strength I got into the position that finally got him out which was crouching at the end of the bed with my bum hanging off the edge to stretch me open, while Dan held my hands.
I was instructed to push with all my might and use grunting sounds which parched my throat. I was thinking at the back of my mind that the neighbours must’ve been hearing it all, but apparently they didn’t hear a thing! The thought also crossed my mind that I could never go through this again or attend another birth as a doula or contemplate studying midwifery (which i had been planning to in future), but the passing of time is kind and I don’t know why I thought that now.
After about 45 minutes of crowning, his head finally came out but I didn’t even realise for a minute as I didn’t hear Dan tell me. Then when I was made to realise, I was so stoked to see his squashed up little face in the mirror. In another contraction his body came sliding out with a gush of more blood and amniotic fluid at 6.08pm, after 3 hours of intense pushing (and 13 days “overdue”!).
We lay him on the bed and I said “It’s a boy… Hi Jetsun!” We rubbed his body for a few moments to make him breathe and Jacqui used the squeeze bag also while I said “Breathe Jetsun!” and encouraged Dan to do likewise. Then he burst into life and cried for a good 5 or 10 minutes – he must’ve been verbalising all his frustration at being stuck in such a tight space for so long. I got Dan to grab the Emergency Essence and I put some drops on Jetsun’s wrist pulse points to help him overcome the shock of birth. I apologised to him that it wasn’t the gentle waterbirth I had planned for him, and I certainly didn’t breathe him out like imagined I would, but his Apgar scores were 7 and 10, so that was a good outcome! (He weighed 3.9kg on day 2, so probably around 4kg at birth!).
Dan and I lay on the bed with him between us and I remembered to check his thumbnails to see if he had been born with Nail Patella Syndrome, a genetic disorder which he had a 50% chance of inheriting from me. I was greatly relieved to find that he had beautiful complete nails on all of his fingers, and I realised that all the hard work we had put in with our natural fertility programme had been a huge success. Despite the utter exhaustion, it was one of the happiest moments of my life!
After a few moments of recovery, I decided to get back into the birth pool to calm him down, so Dan helped me get in as Jetsun was still attached because I didn’t want the cord cut until after the placenta was out. I cradled his head so he could face belly down, which I had learned they like much better than belly up, and he seemed to really relax in the warm water. Time stood still and I had almost forgotten about birthing the placenta, until Jacqui told me to try and push it out, but I was too scared of the pain as I felt so swollen down there. 
Jacqui felt my tummy and confirmed that my placenta had separated and was just sitting in the birth canal, so I summoned up all the strength and courage that I had left and pushed it out into the pool. I didn’t realise at the time but it was almost 2 hours from the birth until my placenta came out.
Jacqui tied the cord with a gold thread I had saved especially for the occasion, and Dan cut the cord. Jetsun was then free of our physical connection but our non-physical bond continues to deepen as each day passes.
I am so in love with our little man, who looks so much like his Dad that everyone calls him “Little Dan”. Dan has made a wonderful father and it makes me love him all the more knowing he is so perfect in his new role. I feel so privileged to be a part of our new family!
Jacqui is an amazing midwife who really embodies the spirit of woman centred care, and she became a good friend over the course of my pregnancy. It was comforting that I did not have to step foot into a hospital, before, during or after the birth, and it was always such a pleasure when she came to my house for all the pre and post natal checks, done over a cold drink or cup of tea. I would highly recommend her to anyone considering a homebirth, as she is extremely professional, experienced and trustful of natural birth, as well as being a lovely person!
